Counselling JCT
Online Counselling & Therapy – Serving Cumbria, Manchester, Lancashire & the North West
The Story Beneath™
Understanding what has shaped you, so you can see yourself differently.
Most of us know the visible story of our lives.
The events that happened. The people who influenced us. The choices we made. The things we achieved. The losses we experienced.
But beneath that visible story, there is often another one.
A quieter story, shaped by our experiences, relationships, beliefs, expectations and the roles we have learned to carry.
It can be found in the ways we have adapted, protected ourselves, sought belonging and learned to move through the world.
Sometimes we know exactly what has happened in our lives. What we don't always understand is how those experiences have shaped who we are today.
Perhaps you find yourself wondering why you react in familiar ways, why certain relationships affect you so deeply, or why something you thought you had worked through still has a hold on you.
Perhaps a loss has changed more than you expected. Or a major life change has brought feelings to the surface that seem to reach further back than the event itself.
The Story Beneath™ begins with a different question:
What has shaped me?
Understanding instead of judgement
I don't believe people are broken.
I believe our responses make sense once we understand what has shaped them.
Anxiety that seems to appear without warning. The need to please others. Difficulty trusting. The feeling that you always have to be strong. Perfectionism. The exhaustion of carrying too much for too long. Feeling disconnected from yourself.
These experiences can be difficult to live with, but they can also offer clues.
Clues to the experiences, relationships, beliefs and expectations that have influenced how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Perhaps you learned to keep the peace because conflict felt unsafe. Perhaps being capable and dependable became a way to feel valued. Perhaps you learned to put your own needs aside, or to expect less from others to avoid disappointment.
What once helped you cope may continue to shape your responses long after the circumstances have changed.
This isn't about blame. It is about becoming curious.
What happened? What did I learn from it? How did I adapt? And how might those adaptations still be affecting me now?
When we begin to understand these connections, we can start to meet ourselves differently: with curiosity rather than criticism, and with greater understanding of the person we had to become.
The losses that shape us
Loss is not confined to bereavement.
It can include the childhood we needed but didn't have, the relationship we hoped would be different, the belonging we struggled to find, or the future we thought we would have.
Some losses are recognised and openly grieved. Others are harder to name. We adapt, carry on and find ways to cope, sometimes without recognising what we have lost or how deeply it has affected us.
Earlier experiences can influence how we experience later losses. A bereavement, separation or major life change can bring older feelings to the surface, helping explain why a particular experience affects us so deeply.
Sometimes the question isn't simply how to cope with what has happened. It is how to understand what it means for who we are now, what we thought our lives would be, and how we imagine the future.
The Story Beneath™ makes space for these connections. Not to explain away grief or reduce everything to the past, but to understand the different layers of experience that shape the person living through it.
The stories we carry
The stories we carry are not always entirely our own.
Some belong to our own lifetime. Others have been shaped through relationships, family dynamics and the environments in which we grew up.
Beliefs about what it means to be strong, how relationships should work, whose needs matter, or what must remain unspoken can become part of family life. Some patterns may also connect to the generations before us: losses, expectations, strengths and ways of surviving that have been carried forward.
We may inherit ways of relating and responding without ever consciously choosing them.
Understanding these influences can help us recognise what has shaped us, while making room to decide what still belongs in our lives.
We cannot change the past or rewrite the experiences that came before us. But we can become more aware of the stories we carry and gain greater choice in how we respond to them.
From understanding to choice
The Story Beneath™ isn't about changing who you are.
It is about understanding yourself more fully.
When you begin to recognise why certain situations affect you, where particular beliefs came from, or how familiar patterns developed, something can begin to shift.
You may notice a response without immediately judging yourself for it.
You may question an old belief rather than automatically accept it as truth.
You may begin to understand why a loss has affected you in ways you hadn't expected, or why a present-day situation touches something much older.
And you may begin to see that what helped you navigate an earlier chapter of life does not necessarily have to define every chapter that follows.
The past doesn't disappear. But your relationship with it can change.
Understanding cannot undo what has happened, and it doesn't make every difficulty disappear. It can, however, offer a different perspective on yourself and open up possibilities that were harder to see before.
The philosophy behind my work
The Story Beneath™ is not a counselling model or a step-by-step framework. It is the philosophy that guides my work.
I'm Jackie Connaughton, a BACP registered counsellor with more than 25 years' experience, working online with women throughout the UK.
My work is guided by the belief that every woman makes sense in the context of her life. I am interested in the connections between our experiences, our relationships, our losses and the ways we have learned to respond to the world.
The Story Beneath™ provides a shared thread through my work, while recognising that different women need different ways to explore their experiences.
Counselling
For women seeking therapeutic support with grief, loss, earlier experiences, anxiety, relationships and life changes. Counselling offers a space to explore what is happening now and how your experiences may be shaping the way you feel, relate and respond.
Unthread™
For women who want a reflective space to explore the stories, beliefs, experiences and expectations they carry through conversation, creativity and symbolic approaches.
Unthread™ is a separate, non-therapy offering.
What The Story Beneath™ invites you to explore
- The experiences and relationships that shaped you.
- The beliefs you learned about yourself and the world.
- The roles you have carried throughout your life.
- The ways you learned to protect yourself and find belonging.
- The losses that have changed your sense of yourself or your future.
- The patterns that continue to affect your life today.
- The strengths, stories and expectations that may have been passed through your family.
You don't need to have all the answers before you begin. Sometimes the first step is simply becoming curious about what has shaped you.
Begin with a conversation
You don't have to have everything figured out before you get in touch.
Sometimes the first step is simply talking to someone who understands that there may be more to your story than what can be seen on the surface.
Book your free 20 min conversation →
Contact Jackie
Email: jackie@counsellingjct.co.uk
Phone: 07432 373270
You can also leave a message using the contact form below.
All enquiries are answered within 24 hours and handled in confidence.
Find Me Online
Counselling JCT | Online Counselling for Women Across the UK
Helping women understand what has shaped them, make sense of where they are now, and consider what comes next.
Important Information
The Unthread programme is designed to offer space for personal reflection, insight, and growth. It is not a form of therapy or counselling and is not a substitute for professional support.
If you feel you need therapeutic care, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified counsellor or therapist.
While every effort is made to create a safe and supportive environment, participating in Unthread is at your own discretion, and you engage in the activities with awareness of your own wellbeing.