Counselling JCT

Online Counselling & Therapy –

Serving Cumbria, Manchester, Lancashire & the North West

Why Does Grief Make My Anxiety Feel Out of Control?

You’ve lost someone or something that mattered deeply. Maybe it’s a person, a relationship, a job, or even a chapter of your life that feels like it will never return. You expect grief to hit you in waves, maybe a tear here or a lump in your throat there. But instead, your chest races, your thoughts spiral, and anxiety sneaks in like an uninvited guest.

It’s confusing. You might feel guilty for being anxious while grieving, or anxious for grieving so intensely. There’s a strange overlap here, one emotion amplifies the other, leaving your nervous system feeling on overdrive.

Why Anxiety and Grief Interact

Grief asks you to sit with absence, to adjust to a world that has changed. Anxiety tells your body to prepare for danger, scanning for what could go wrong next. When these two meet, your nervous system reacts with intensity. Sleep can feel impossible, your thoughts may race, and even ordinary tasks can feel overwhelming.

You may keep everything together on the outside, but inside, the stress is real. Feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human.

The Everyday Struggles People Don’t Talk About

You wake up thinking you’re ready for the day, but your mind pulls you into “what ifs” and “if onlys.” You try to stay productive, but each task feels heavier. Conversations replay in your mind. Fears for the future quietly bubble beneath your calm exterior.

Others see your resilience. They see you managing life’s demands, smiling at the right moments. They don’t notice the tension in your shoulders, the tightness in your chest, or the sleepless nights.

“Grief and anxiety are messengers, not enemies. Listen to them, and they will guide you home to yourself.”

How Life Transitions Can Amplify Anxiety

Change, even when welcome, can be destabilizing. Moving to a new home, starting a new job, ending a relationship, or navigating a major loss can intensify anxious feelings. High-functioning anxiety doesn’t take a break, it magnifies uncertainty and unknowns, making you feel like you’re constantly on edge.

Finding Relief Through Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is not about controlling your feelings. It’s about noticing, understanding, and soothing them. Breathing exercises, body awareness, gentle somatic therapy, and nervous system support can help you slow racing thoughts, feel safe in your body, and respond instead of reacting.

Navigating Anxiety and Grief With Support

You don’t have to untangle anxiety and grief alone. With guidance, you can explore how your mind and body communicate and learn small, practical ways to feel steadier each day. My approach is integrative, blending person-centred counselling, somatic practices, Polyvagal-informed support, and emotional regulation techniques. Together, we focus on creating moments of calm, helping you manage overwhelming emotions, and supporting you through life transitions with resilience and care.

You can keep your responsibilities, honor your grief, and still feel a little lighter each day. You don’t have to wait for the feelings to disappear to start feeling safe and grounded again.

Next Steps for You

Notice where your body holds tension. Take a moment to breathe. Reach out for support from someone trained in both grief and anxiety support. These small steps can help your nervous system settle and bring a sense of calm to your daily life.

High-functioning anxiety and grief don’t have to control you. With understanding and practical techniques, you can feel steadier, calmer, and more in control, even while navigating life’s hardest moments.

Get in Touch

Ready to take the first step toward calm, clarity, and connection?


Whether you’re seeking support for anxiety, stress, grief, or navigating major life changes, I’m here to help. You don’t have to do this alone, counselling offers a safe, compassionate space to explore what’s happening beneath the surface and begin real, lasting change.

Start your journey today


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Contact Jackie

Email: jackie@counsellingjct.co.uk

Phone: 07432 373270

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