Trauma can shake us to our core. It’s not just an event that happens to us—it’s an experience that changes who we are. You may feel like you're walking through a fog, uncertain of where you're going, who you are, or how to make it through. But what if I told you that trauma doesn’t have to define you? Even in the darkest moments, there is a path toward healing, growth, and reclaiming your life.

Trauma recovery is messy, complicated, and deeply personal. It's not a quick fix, and it’s definitely not linear. Some days, you might feel like you're moving forward, and the next day, it feels like you're right back at square one. But that’s okay. Healing from trauma takes time, and that’s what I’m here to help you with—navigating the tough, winding road back to a place where you can breathe again, laugh again, and maybe even trust again.

What Does Trauma Really Do to Us?

Trauma doesn't just live in our minds. It can show up physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Whether it's a violent event, an abusive relationship, a sudden loss, or even something less obvious like childhood neglect, trauma impacts every part of who we are.

Research shows that trauma can physically change how our brains work. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the leading experts on trauma, explains that the brain's fear centre, the amygdala, becomes hyperactive after a traumatic experience. This means that our bodies can stay stuck in "fight or flight" mode, even when we're not in immediate danger. It's no wonder so many people feel like they're constantly on edge after trauma.

For someone like Emma (name changed for confidentiality), the impact of trauma was deeply intertwined with her body. After years in an abusive relationship, Emma didn’t just carry the emotional scars—she had trouble sleeping, felt exhausted all the time, and often experienced stomach pains. She came to therapy feeling defeated. “How do I move forward if my body keeps reminding me of the pain?” she asked me.

It’s a valid question. But here’s the thing: healing is possible, even when it feels like the trauma has taken up residence in your mind and body. The first step? Recognising that your body is trying to process something it wasn’t ready for—and that’s where we begin.

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Trauma Recovery

When you’re healing from trauma, it's easy to feel like you’re on a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. Some days, you may feel angry, sad, or numb. You might question yourself: Why can’t I just get over this? But let me tell you this: trauma doesn’t work on a timeline. There’s no “getting over it.” There’s only learning to live with it and, eventually, learning to thrive again.

Take James (name changed for confidentiality) as an example. James had experienced a traumatic loss—his partner passed away unexpectedly—and it left him in a place where he didn’t know who he was anymore. He’d spent so many years being someone’s partner that the idea of being "James" on his own felt like an impossibility. The grief was suffocating, and his anxiety was through the roof. In our sessions together, James slowly began to explore his grief, not as a burden, but as a part of his life he needed to embrace to move forward.

It wasn’t easy. Some days, James couldn’t even say his partner’s name without breaking down. But over time, through patience, therapy, and learning to connect with himself again, James found new hobbies he hadn’t touched in years—like painting and playing guitar. He started reconnecting with old friends, allowing himself to laugh and experience joy in small ways. His grief didn’t go away, but it shifted. It became part of who he was, but not all of who he was.

Rebuilding From the Ground Up: A New Perspective on Self-Discovery

Trauma often forces us to rethink everything we knew about ourselves—what we valued, how we interacted with the world, and how we viewed our futures. It’s more than just redefining your identity; it’s about acknowledging that trauma has altered your view of the world, and that’s okay.

Take Sophia (name changed for confidentiality), who found herself grappling with her sense of self after a traumatic breakup. Rather than just asking, "Who am I now?" she began to explore how trauma had shaped her worldview. Her relationship had left her questioning her ability to trust, not just in others, but in herself. Through therapy, Sophia didn’t just rebuild her identity—she learned to navigate a new lens through which she could understand her experiences. She realised that trauma didn’t take away her strength; it allowed her to develop resilience and wisdom.

This isn’t a quick process, and it doesn’t always follow a straight path. Some days, Sophia felt overwhelmed with doubt, unsure of whether she would ever feel whole again. But through small, consistent steps—journaling, reconnecting with friends, exploring new passions—she began to see that her worth was never tied to someone else’s ability to love her. She found strength not in "becoming someone else," but in integrating her past experiences into a healthier, more empowered version of herself.

Trauma may alter the landscape of who you are, but it doesn’t erase the person you were meant to be. It creates space for transformation, for growth, and for a renewed sense of who you can become.

The Road to Healing: It’s Not a Straight Line

One of the most challenging aspects of trauma recovery is the expectation that it should be a straight line—you start, you heal, and you're done. But that’s not how it works. Healing from trauma is more like a spiral. You take a step forward, then you take a step back. You heal a little, then you feel stuck again. And that’s completely normal.

Sometimes, you might find yourself triggered. Maybe it’s a smell, a sound, or a situation that brings you right back to that moment. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you're not healing. It means you're human, and you're doing the best you can.

In therapy, we work together to help you understand your triggers, develop coping strategies, and create a toolbox of resources to manage those moments. Healing is about learning how to hold yourself with compassion in the moments that feel overwhelming. It’s about finding balance, embracing the ups and downs, and knowing that you are not defined by what happened to you.

The Importance of Self-Compassion in Healing

Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion, emphasises that treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a friend is one of the most powerful ways to heal from trauma. “When we are in pain, we tend to judge ourselves harshly,” Dr. Neff explains. “But self-compassion involves treating yourself with care and understanding during tough times.”

By practicing self-compassion, you can stop blaming yourself for what happened, and instead, begin to embrace the process of healing. Self-compassion isn’t about excusing the trauma, but rather about being kind to yourself as you navigate your way through it.

Are You Ready to Take the First Step Toward Healing?

If you’re reading this, you may be in a place where you feel lost, unsure, or broken. And I want you to know—it’s okay to feel this way. Trauma doesn’t just disappear overnight, but with the right support, it can be healed.

You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to take that first step toward healing, I’m here to guide you through the process—one small step at a time. Together, we can begin rebuilding your life, nurturing your strength, and rediscovering the pieces of yourself that trauma tried to take.

Healing is a journey. But with the right support, you can transform your pain into a powerful, renewed version of yourself.

If you’re ready to start your healing journey, reach out today. Let’s work together to rebuild, rediscover, and reclaim your life. You don’t have to go through this alone.